I am not one for the new years resolutions. I know that they fall by the way side and are long forgotten with in weeks. But, on Christmas Eve Eve my loving boyfriend proposed to me and I now have a new look on life. So the next few blogs are going to be about my new life goals and how I am achieving them or how I am struggling.
The last Unicorn is all mine and I am so thankful for that. Mr. Right could not describe him better. This man is right for me on all levels and in Feb we will have been together for a year. He has seen me at my low (hospitalized for bowel obstruction) and he has seen me at my highs over the year. We have such a great line of communication that we have yet to have a FIGHT. We disagree and that is healthy and normal, but we do not go to bed angry. We have a great relationship. So why write this blog if everything is rainbows and sparkles? Well…I know that I personally have room for improvement and I have made a list on things that I want to work on and it is called the BETTER ME list.
What does this list have on it? I am glad you asked and no this is not about wedding planning. This list was created after I took time reflecting on myself after he proposed. I thought about how he just asked me to stand by his side for the rest of all time. AND that is a long time. So I want to make sure that I am the best me for this man that I love. NO, I am not changing or reflecting on life just because of him. Yes, I find it healthy to do self reflection and sometimes big events can help us dive deep inside and look at ourselves with better/clearer view. So now that I rose colored glasses are off and my HD glasses are on..Faith has some work to do!
Here is the start of my list:
I need to compliment myself more. Yes, I need to look at myself and tell myself GOOD JOB, HEY BEAUTIFUL or LOOKING GOOD more. I have never been one to pat my own shoulder. I also do not feel sexy in my own skin. I know that I love me and that is not the point. But, I am not at the weight that I would like and I feel that this goes with why I do not BOOST myself like I should. Making this goal a one two punch. GOAL: Every morning before I go on with my daily routine,I plan to take a couple of minutes to give myself a compliment. Whether I compliment my outfit, hair style (hair is getting long y’all), how I am working out, eating right, getting my steps in, or how I recently completed a task on time. I know that giving yourself a little emotional boost will make you happy. Funny that I was a life coach at one time and how I now seem to be the student! These compliments to self will be a boost and we know that when you’re happy with yourself, that emotion can be contagious to those around you.
I am COOKING at home more. I know right! Me cooking. Not just any cooking mind you. No, it is healthy cooking and I try to eat from the outside isles only. Yes that’s right, eat from the outside isles at the store. Think about it..What do you have on the outer ring of the store? Meat, Veggies, Fruit, Dairy and Bakery. I have not gotten rid of sweets but I am now making my own sweets that are 100 cal or less and well to tell you the truth I have not eaten a “pre-made” sweet in a while. I have found that I like to cook and I will share with you as we go some of my favorite recipes that I am doing and how I am able to eat 1650 calories and feel good doing it.
I am no longer going to allow myself to get away with MAKING EXCUSES. Last year I let myself make excuses instead of just doing what I wanted and or not just flat out saying no. But this also, is the not making excuses with my own accountability. This will be a big one. There is no room for blaming others.. not my soon to be spouse (not that I have. Yet lol), not my boss (self), or my clients. It is fruitless and won’t get me very far. Instead of pointing fingers and making excuses about why I am not happy or successful in my personal or professional life, I plan on owing my mistakes and learn from them. This will allow me to become a better person. I also, need to be able to tell others when I have hit my limit and say no if I don’t want to do something. The TURTH will set me free.
I seem to be one to hold onto things. I have noticed that I do not let go of things like I did when I was younger. Letting go of anger is easier said than done. While anger is a perfectly normal emotion, I can’t let it fester. When this happens, I may make unwise decisions, and more important, it may affect my health. Research suggests pent up anger can cause digestive problems, difficulty sleeping, and even heart disease. We all know I need to stay away from the hospitals. I need to work on the fact that I am me and others do not have to live by my same thoughts. Even as a mother I need to let the fact that my child is independent and they are their own beings that can think and do as they please, even when I do not like what they are doing. I cannot allow their poor actions to stick to me and anger me as much as they do.
I need to work on FORGIVENESS. Yes, I have more work to do on this. Joyce Marter, LCPC, suggests you forgive and let go of resentment. She notes, “If for no other reason than for yourself, forgive to untether yourself from the negative experiences of the past. Take time to meditate, and give thanks for the wisdom and knowledge gained from your suffering. Practice the mantra, ‘I forgive you and I release you.'” I will work on this this year for sure.
I need to be ready for change and allow CHANGE to be a good thing. I know strange coming from me the once Gypsy woman. But as I have planted roots I have seen that I am now getting to be a stick in the mud. Whether trying a new restaurant, traveling to an unknown part of the world, or doing something that has always scared me, I am going to be open to change. This allows you to grow because you experience something new. It helps you be high functioning and self-confident if you are not wary of change.
I love to learn and so there are so many things I want to learn in 2020. So to EDUCATE myself is my plan. I want to learn more about God, music, gardening, canning, cooking, farming, wood burning and I am sure so much more. If you don’t understand why one country is invading another, take the time to educate yourself on the current event. Ask a person intimately connected with the event for his or her thoughts. Remember, we’re all interconnected, and being aware of different cultures, different people, and what their lives are like can make you a more well-rounded individual. This will also help you understand points of view different from your own.
I also have a goal to lose weight so that I can fit into my dream wedding dress and WOW Mr. Right at the alter. We have yet to set a date but I do want to have the ultimate body for my wedding to my true.
Becoming a better person doesn’t happen overnight, but it is possible. Believe in yourself and know that it is possible!
What other tips have you found useful for becoming a better person?