Long distance relationships are tough. There is no need to sugarcoat it. Being miles away from one another puts stress on the relationship because it requires an extraordinary amount of trust and dedication. The distance does not have to be the main factor, sometimes couples have work issues that make living one town apart just as if they were miles and miles away. Fret not. There are lots of ways to keep the romance in long distance relationships.
How do I know this? I speak from personal experience.
It is not easy, but we make it work. One tricky thing for us is keeping the romance alive. It’s hard when you cannot look one another in the eye, much less give hugs, kisses or go on a romantic date. We had to get creative. Without romance, the relationship is basically only a friendship, which is not a bad thing, but many people crave something deeper. Here are some ways I found to have romance in long distance relationships.
- Send good morning text messages.
It sounds sappy, but we almost always texted each other good morning and good night. It is good to let your partner know that you are thinking about them when you wake up and when you are going to sleep. If you are feeling super ambitious, ask a couple of thoughtful questions such as “How was your sleep?” or “What are you up to today?”
- Plan date nights.
Sure, you cannot sit in the same room, but maybe you are able to watch the same television show at the same time. If you are lucky like we are to be a short drive away, set up time once a week to see each other. This gives you one day a week that you know you will be able to have just the 2 of you.
- Send photo texts of your day.
In today’s world, it is easy to communicate all day if you wish. Try to remind your lover you are thinking about him or her by sending an occasional photo text of something you are doing. I am better at the photos then he is but the fact that he will share things with me via Facebook that keep me going all day long, let me know that he is thinking of me.
- Pay attention on phone calls.
There is a tendency when you are dating long distance to want to spend as much time on the phone together as possible. We have it set so that I know every night on his way home from work he will call me. It is such a nice short amount of quality time. I feel that this is so much better than long periods of time on the phone filled with distractions where neither party is paying attention to one another? Try just giving him/her your undivided attention. You would be surprised at the difference it makes!
- Send a care package or Card
I try to send my guy a card in the mail weekly. I know that it seems silly but I remember the first card that I did that with he really did love it. It is so nice to get something other than bills in the mail. It also arrives unexpected for him and lets him know that I took time to send it. I happen to love to draw and so I get blank cards and actually make up my own silly cards for him and sometimes they can be adult humor. When I send things to him it really shows him that I was thinking about him.
- Surprise him/her with a visit.
This one you need to be careful of as you do not want to be an inconvenience. Hosting someone takes time and planning, so do give them a little warning. I happen to live 2 towns away from my man and our long distance is more because of work schedules. However, I know that if I did want to show up out of the blue to show some love he would welcome me with open arms.
- Always have the next visit planned.
Along with occasional “surprise” visits, make sure you know when you will see one another next. It gives both of you something to look forward to and you can count down the days until you see your loved one next.
- Make sure to laugh together.
Send him a joke. Send her a link filled with funny cat pictures. There is an emotional connection formed when we laugh together, so keep that connection alive.
- Video chat with one another.
This was an activity that was either a lot of fun or quite frustrating. Neither of us had phones that would do video so we had to use Skype, which relied on possibly crappy internet service. We finally figured out that having Skype up on our laptops and chatting on the phone was the best solution. It really does help to see your partner face-to-face, so try finding a good video app you can both use.
- Run away together. Mini Vacation.
Texting is great, but you can only say so much. Phone conversation is lovely, but you might not be able to articulate what you are feeling on the spot. When you take time to have a “Stay- Cation” you are able to share feeling with each other in person and get that instant emotional connection. Even if it’s an over night trip the mini vacations together are worth it. We just took a trip from NC to SC. We spent 2 nights away from “reality” and really were able to rekindle our love. The bonding was great. We can now go back to our weekly visits.
- Lastly, talk/text/e-mail romantically.
Hopefully you are attracted to one another, so do not forget to express that attraction no matter what the distance is between the two of you.